This Ain't No Picnic is the first cookbook featuring creative and delicious recipes that match the quality and presentation of a gourmet restaurant with the self-parody and humor of punk rock culture and history. A comedic art book full of social commentary, it explores and improves the favorite foods of historic punk rockers. Through exclusive interviews, Picnic treats you to the delectibles they could—and perhaps should—have been eating. How to make s'mores with a zippo, cook without a stove or oven, and 80 new recipes of Joshua Ploeg's magical food and flavor combinations like you've never dreamed of.

Joshua Ploeg is a founder of the queercore movement & a traveling vegan chef who has cooked for Senator Daryll Steinberg's Proposition 8 Repeal Fundraiser, Perry Ferrell, Ben Davidson, The Melvins, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Fugazi, Nikki McClure, Ani DiFranco, Stars for Strikes, Anti-Flag, and many more. He is the vocalist for the band Select Sex.

Dalton Blanco is an LA based photographer with an edgy style that focuses on risque subject matter. Take him on tour with your band. Seriously.

Vice Cooler writes and photographs for Rolling Stone, Vice Magazine, photographs for ANP quarterly, i-D Magazine, The Wire, San Francisco Bay Guardian, The Kim Gordon Chronicles, Punk Planet, Maximum Rock N Roll, The Ecstatic Peace Poetry Journals, Venus.

INTRO

ESSAYS:
1 A Punk's Golden Shower of Recipes
2 Road Trip!
3 Necessity is the Mother of Something Something
4 The Day The Kitchen Turned Day-Glo
5 Crunchy, Sweaty, Shaky, Smelly
6 Decline of Western Culinarization, Part 3
7 Punk Heroes And Shakespearos Are What They Eat
8 NOT YOUR GRANDPA’S HARDCORE VEGAN SLOP

RECIPES
Anarchy Burger......................................................................................14
Chickn Vindaloo.....................................................................................18
Weinerschnitzel.............................................................20
Pot Roast...............................................................................................21
Shonen Knife Brown Mushrooms.......................................................22
Chop Suey...............................................................................................24
Massive Enchilada.................................................................................26
Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps......................................28
Beef Baloney.........................................................................................30
Donuts..........................................................................31
Dashboard Jerky..................................................................................35
Dashboard Kale Chips........................................................................36
Snack Bar Salad...................................................................................36
Engine Block Casserole.......................................................................37
Zippo S’mores........................................................................................38
Soaked Thai Noodles............................................................................41
Coffee Pot Curry..................................................................................42
Credit Card Sandwich.........................................................................48
Or-Curry Banana Sandwiches.............................................................49
Beer Tempura........................................................................................51
Marinade Wilting and Curing..........................................................52
Saucepan Cornbread...........................................................................53
Microwave Blanching.........................................................................54
Stovetop Smoking...............................................................................55
Stovetop Pizza.....................................................................................56
Frybread.......................................................................60
Flatbread......................................................................60
Pancakes......................................................................61
Dumplings...................................................................62
Fishnet Tarts.........................................................................................69
Bright Green Tomatoes.....................................................................70
A Trio of Flashy Dips........................................................................72
Seaweed Liberty Spikes.......................................................................73
Leopard Mezza.....................................................................................73
Safety Orange Delight........................................................................74
Black and Silver Wristband Bar.......................................................76
Bloodstains.....................................................................77
Filthy Fruit Queercore Ring...................................................................82
Pop Punk Rainbow Popcorn Punch Cupcakes..................................83
Bouncy Black and White Ska Pie.......................................................84
Skrakky Crust Punk Brickle................................................................85
Emo Sour Lemon Drop.........................................................................86
Art Noise Core Performance Art Deconstructed Sushi......................87
No Rilly Tho’, Here’s Some Deconstructed Sushi..............................88
Abrasive and Sweet Sour Riot Grrrl Bites.......................................89
Molasses Gel Sludgey Doomcore...........................................................91
Durian Soup with Seaweed Crisps...................................................92
Old Dumpstered Bagel Rarebit......................................................98
40 Oz. Mimosa.......................................................................................99
Beer Caramel.......................................................................................100
Bagel French Toast........................................................................101
Crusty Cupboard Special Surprise................................................102
Old Dumpstered Bagel Bread Pudding...............................103
Beer and Uncheez Soup with Bagel Croutons........................104
Coffee Sauce for Everything...................................................105
Big Stuffed Biscuit and Milkshake..............................................110
Vegan Escargot and Black Quinoa Caviar.........................................112
Peach Melba............................................................................................114
Kir Royale................................................................................................115
Refried Beans Pizza.............................................................................115
Lavender Tea Cakes with Earl Grey .................................................116
Exploding Volcano Hot Dog Surprise..............................................117
Tomatoes Four Way: Tomato Bread, Tomato Sauce, Fried Tomatoes,
Tomato Salad...........................................................................................118
Rip Her To Shreds................................................................................121
Tidy Henry..............................................................................................122
Ol’ Veggie Fried Chickn, Mashed Potatoes, Gravy, & Greens Re-Envisioned...128
Zucchini Bread........................................................................................130
Mate Latte..............................................................................................131
Jicama Potato Salad.............................................................................132
Lentil Loaf...............................................................................................133
Mac n Cheez With TVP Chili & Acoutrements.................................136
Nutritional Yeast Mac n Cheez...........................................................137
Tofu Scramble.........................................................................................138
Burrito with Cucumber Salsa.............................................................140
Baked Squash.........................................................................................143

GLOSSARY 146
ABOUT THE
AUTHOR (AND
CONTRIBUTORS) 161
IDEAS FOR MENUS 170
INDEX 186